This is a complex question with an answer that has many layers.
Growing up, most of our fathers had an issue or two of Playboy and Penthouse hidden under the bed or in a closet. And mom was well aware of it, and didn’t go ape shit. Were our fathers cheating on our mothers with a dirty magazine, or simply indulging in harmless fantasy. I would suspect the later rather than the former.
Reading or watching erotic content, internalizing it and using it as fodder for our fantasies is all fair game. It’s been practiced for centuries, and as far as we can tell, has not had a decremental effect on marriages and relationships.
Cyber sex is a tad more complicated. You see, magazines and videos are a one way medium. They broadcast, you watch, end of story. But when you engage in online sex, the rules can change. What has traditionally been a one way communication has now become an interactive two way communication. And that’s where a loss of intimacy can occur in a relationship.
Successful cam girls try to offer their male clients what known as “The Girlfriend Experience”. or GFE. They want to create an emotional bond with their client in the hope that he’ll return for repeat performances. Nothing wrong with that, it’s smart business. But what if the client is in a relationship? Does this not cross the line?
And what if the male client develops a dependence on cyber sex? One that takes away from his real life relationship? As you can see, nothing is quite as simple as it seems.
Our take on things is that cyber sex can be a fun addition to a couples sex life, and be practiced with both partners present. Some couples fantasize about having a threesome, or even swinging. Why not try virtual sex with a third party, or even another couples? Imagine the possibilities!
We leave you with a video produced by Dan & Jennifer, two of our favorite Youtube celebrities, who weigh in on this contentious topic. Enjoy!